Adios - used for both hello and goodbye

The time has come for me to end this chapter in my story. Three months has come and gone and I'm back on American soil. Like any good book, all the chapters play a part on what is still to come. Depending on how far along you are in the book, sometimes you have more questions than answers and you are left hanging until you read a little farther. Other chapters may be slower than others. My favorite chapters are when you find out what you have been waiting for so long to discover.

This chapter in my life has been full of adventure, trial, persistence, growth and excitement. I'm not sure everything that God is going to do with what he has shown me during this time but, I'm sure some of the new skills I have learned will equip me for whats ahead.

I know it will take me a little while to re-adjust to things now that I'm home. My prayer is that I won't fall back into "routine", but will continue to listen to the whispers of God as I follow him everyday.

Thanks for following me. Hope you enjoyed the journey! Adios

The Lost get Found

You may draw your own conclusion to this story but the only way I can explain what I am about to share is nothing short of a miracle and many many prayers. To get the full picture I recommend reading my post “El Hoyo” if you haven’t done so already. It explains the story of a small boy named Pablo who has been living on the streets and smoking crack at the young age of 12. Every time we would go to Ceiba, Lisa and I would look for him. It was no easy task in a large city with many possibilities of where he could be. Unfortunately, almost every time we did spot him, he would run or he wave for us to leave, I think because he didn’t want us to see him in such a state. Lisa would tell me hurt, and frustrated at the corruption, "who would give such a small child drugs and why is no one doing anything?" or an even harder question she would ask was, "what should I do? He's going to die here. If not from the people, then from the drugs." Feeling helpless and unable to process a good conclusion myself, I would look back at her unable to say any comforting words.

Almost two weeks ago one of Lisa’s foster boys, Oder, who is 16 years old and back with his birth mom now in Ceiba, spotted Pablo sleeping under the bench the park. He had lived with Pablo for a little while when they were both living at Lisa's house. Oder bought him a Baleada with the little money he had and took the time to talk to him. I’m not quite sure all that happened in that conversation but by the time they were done conversing, Lisa told me she got the call that Pablo saying he wanted to come back home. There were a few other people that came alongside Pablo during this time as well, helping steer and guide him in the right direction after he had made his decision and the next time we went to Ceiba we were going to pick him up to take him home after 2 and a half months of him being away.

I had mixed emotions about this at first. This would most likely interrupt the peace at the house, create more work for Lisa, who knew what the withdraw stage would be like, and there is always the possibility of him running again. Yet Lisa knew all this and was still overjoyed that he wanted to come home. 

It reminds me of the story about the lost sheep and the sheperd who left his 99 to find the 1 and was overjoyed when he found it. Why is the one so important? Don’t the 99 matter as well? As I’m thinking about it, I don’t think that the point of the story is that the 99 don’t matter, but that each one is equally important, so important that the shepherd goes after it even though he has 99 others. No matter which of the 100 would have left, it wouldn't have mattered, he still would have gone after it. 

This woman is an inspiration to me and a beautiful picture of what I believe Jesus feels for all of us. No matter how much we mess up and run away Jesus is waiting with open arms. He continues to pursue us and love us.  This doesn’t mean that we won’t have to live with the consquenses of our bad decisions or that it will be an easy process but it will be a journey worth walking with Him.

I never would have thought that when this kid ran away that there was any chance of him returning. Not after all the hurt and pain I'd seen as a result or him leaving. But, I was blessed to see this beautiful miracle of love, hope, faith and restoration. Pablo has a long way to go, but it looks like he is making good progress. God is working in his life and I look forward with anticipation to hear more of what God continues to do in his life and the lives of those around him.

Measuring Time

It's hard to believe that I only have 8 days left until I'm back in the States. I realized today how much more I value time when I feel like it's slipping away.

I was at the beach with the boys today and I treasured our moments of playing in the waves as we enjoyed cooling off from the hot and sticky day. I listened to them just laugh and laugh as I  tried to memorize the sounds before they faded to a memory.

Later that day we went to the park. I wasn't sure what they wanted to do at the park since there was no play structure and I couldn't think of anything fun to do there but I was wrong. They found bottles to kick, other bottles to shoot tops out of like guns and trees to climb. Later they found lots and lots of tops from bottles of soda and played checkers in the dirt with them. They have taught me so much. The importance of being content, enjoying and making the most of the things that you have, can be such a hard but valuable lesson. Sometimes I want to be more like them.

Tomorrow I leave for the island of Roatan to take a few days to debrief and reflect on my time here.  I'm so incredibly excited that I will meet my mom there and we will finish out my trip together. We will stay in Roatan until Wednesday and then spend a few days back in Balfate before we go home.

Its hard for me to think about saying good bye, its always something that is so bitter sweet. Looking forward to what's ahead while closing another chapter. The boys will ask me.."Estephani, when are you coming back?"...and I look at them, trying not to tear up while I say.."I'm not sure".

Cayos

Lisa and I had been trying to figure out a little get-a-way with the boys for quite some time now. Between juggling finding somewhere affordable, getting someone to stay at the house, and making sure the dogs were taken care of, didn’t make this task easy. Finally the plans were set and we were going to Cayos Cochinos which are beautiful islands off the north cost of Honduras.

We got up early and took the short hour boat ride, where we had hired a private boat from a local fisherman, to take us over. I enjoyed the ride as I looked at the blue water that sparkled like diamonds as the sun rays danced with the waves.

It was sweet to watch one of the older boys, Jelsing, putting his arm around the his younger brother, Isaias, in a loving and comforting gesture as they watched the waves together and searched beyond the blue sea for the islands ahead.  Another one of the boys, Jeremias, was sitting close to Lisa, as he was a bit afraid of the water after a near downing experience as a young child. The last of the four, Ever, was sitting independently and I’m not quite sure what was going through his mind.  We were starting our adventure, the wind blowing through our hair, the taste of saltwater in the air, and the anticipation of a fun time to come.

When we arrived at one of the islands I couldn’t stop smiling or staring at the beautiful water. It was so turquoise and clear that you could see the ocean floor. I felt like I was in a surreal world. It was like I had dived into the pages of a National Geographic magazine. The boys were just as excited. Cayos is made up of 13 islands and we stopped at one of them where we had to sign in and watch a short video on respecting the environment. After that we dropped our bags at the cabin we were staying at and took another small boat to explore a snorkeling spot. 

After some awesome snorkeling we were our way to another island for lunch, when our boat driver spotted some dolphins and we headed toward them. It was an unreal experience as the dolphins were swimming alongside our small boat (about the length of 2 dolphins, and shallow enough that you could put your hand down and touch the water). There they were jumping out of the water, playfully and carefree. There must have been at least 6 or more of them. We all smiled and giggled in delight as we had stumbled upon this rare and majestic experience.

We  had  two wonderful days of snorkeling, swimming, swinging in hammocks, watching sunsets, hunting for seashells and sea glass, and eating local food. It passed all to quickly and before we knew it we were back on the same boat that had taken us over, going home. This time the twin Jeremias who had been afraid of the boat ride just a few days earlier was bolding sitting by himself at the front of the boat. The waves were much more rough coming back and with the choppy water I thought for sure he would be afraid. The boat driver slowed down at one point and asked him “Papi (an endearing term), quieres ir aqui con nosotros?” “Do you want to come back here with us?” He turned around as much as he could with his restricting life vest. His  hair was windblown and he had slashes of water on his face but he was grinning ear to ear shook his head no. 

Yes, yes indeed, it had been a good trip. Not only had we lived in a fairytale land for two days but this boy had also conquered a very real fear  and was the bravest of us all.

Mancho

It was dump day. Lisa and I were going into town to run some errands and visit the dump. The first thing that we did when we got into town was to pick up Mancho. He is a 14 year old boy who lives in the dump and is part of a gang. There are different levels of gangs here. Some are bad, others worse and others horrible. Thankfully the one he  is in only qualifies as bad, but none the less its a gang. He is a really good kid, but has been hanging around the wrong people. 

Today Mancho was going to have a change of scenery by hanging out with us :) He went where we went and helped us with our errands. We didn’t do anything special, but we got to show him love by just hanging with him. The thing I remember the most about that day is going to the grocery store with him. He helped me push the cart around and showed me which rice was the best and I showed him which toothpaste I liked. I was impressed by his gentle spirit and curiosity to learn. Something that I have noticed about the culture here, especially in poverty stricken areas, is that people don’t speak with kindness when asking for something. At the dump people say “Give me this, or that”. There usually is no please or thank you. Mancho never once asked me to buy him anything at the grocery store and when I offered to get him a few things he was genuinely thankful. 

Because of Mancho's life circumstances, he doesn't have much of an opportunity to succeed. But, with his big heart there is hope that he can not only survive but thrive. It will not be an easy journey as he has put himself in some bad situations. But, you can tell there is something in his heart that is rare and bold that he himself has not yet fully discovered.  If his character is nurtured into the man God has created him to be, he will be unstoppable.

Thank you

One day I was sitting in the rocking chair outside talking to some of the boys and enjoying the beautiful weather when Lisa handed me her cell phone and said someone wanted to talk to me. I had heard her talking in spanish to this person just moments before and I wondered who it was. “Hola.” I said, praying my spanish wouldn’t fail me now. The answer on the other line was that of a young man. He was calling to apologize to me for stealing my things. He was sorry and asked me to forgive him. I couldn’t believe it, my things had gotten stolen about a month and a half ago. The conversation almost brought tears to my eyes and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said of course I forgave him and went on to ask how he was doing. I admire the young man and his boldness and courage to step out of his comfort zone. I knew he was ashamed of what he had done yet he didn’t let that stop him from doing what was right. 

Rewind

Here are three stories from events that happened a few weeks ago but I didn’t get around to writing.